My wife talks a lot. In fact, I stand in awe of her ability at times. She can talk on the phone for hours and still have plenty to talk about when we sit down for dinner. Of course, she then asks how my day went and is frustrated when my sole response is, “Good.” I see it as balance – her ying to my yang – or something like that.

And while I tease her about her “gift of gab” at times, I actually find it cute. She even has a funny way with words at times that I call “Kristyisms.” I guess when you use that many words in a day, you have to get creative with their use.

But what I like most is the way she talks without using words. For example, the way she says, “I love you” using simple things like tea, pillows and soy sauce.

You see, I tend to drink a lot of iced tea – that comes from growing up in Alabama. You know how often I make tea? Rarely. When I empty a pitcher, I put it in the sink. Soon, I find another pitcher of tea in the refrigerator, as if by magic. Except it’s not magic. It is work. It takes time out of her already busy day. It takes planning to have the teabags and sweetener on hand. It is not always convenient, but she does it. And what I hear when I see the pitcher of tea is “I love you.”

She uses other objects too. On more than one business trip I have opened my suitcase to find my pillows packed. She knows I don’t sleep well in hotels and that having my own pillows makes a difference. When I open the suitcase and see those pillows, I hear “I love you.” One day, it was as simple as finding a bottle of soy sauce on the counter. I won’t bore you with the details, but she went out of her way to make sure I had my favorite meal. As soon as I saw the bottle, I heard “I love you.”

So, yeah, she talks a lot. But I like it best when she talks while saying nothing at all.


4 thoughts on “I Like It When She Says Nothing”
  1. Wow… A beautiful perspective. There are times when we fail to notice all these things which speak a lot. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  2. What a sweet essay! Glad that she doesn’t use the pillows, soy sauce, and ice tea all at once. ;p

    My husband and I can both talk up a storm about things we are passionate about. He’s a bit of a mad scientist and I like quirky history. We’ve both learned to just fess up when we catch ourselves spinning off on a daydream rather than listening. Instead of getting irritated with the other, we’ve learned to laugh about it. It’s one of the ways we say “I love you.”

    p.s. Hope to see you at tonight’s #StoryDam writing chat on Twitter!

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