Ladies and Gentlemen, We have a loser!

A while back I launched a contest for a free book. In that post I blamed the lack of comments on a error in the way I had the blog configured. In case you forgot, the prize was a copy of The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. My wife was tasked with selecting a winner at random from all the comments that contained the word DARE.

And after reviewing all the comments since the contest began, I am proud to announce… “We have a loser!”Yes, you read that right. It’s me. I’m the loser. I threw a party and nobody came. I only received one comment during the whole contest, and that comment wasn’t even trying for the book (no DARE anywhere.)

Since I’m a man – and married – I have three possible ways to respond:

1. Ignore it and pretend it never happened – I did contemplate this option for a while, but finally decided against it. This option is better used on things that are not recorded in a permanent record. I use this option when predictions I make turn out false or when I’m proven wrong in an argument a few days later. It usually takes the form of no reply or possibly with the phrase “I didn’t say that!”
2. Throw a pity party – I’m not sure women know how to throw pity parties as well as men. I think the main reason is that they don’t train for it. Many of us men practice this art a few times every week so we have it down to an art. I actually embraced this option for a while when I realized that my contest was a bust. I contemplated quitting, smashing the site with a baseball bat or wadding it up into a ball and throwing it at the trash can. At that point, I remembered that a blog is virtual and can’t be smashed or wadded and had to settle for calling it names. Fortunately, though, I’m married so I gave up the pity party option in favor of number three.
3. Blame my wife – This is the option I finally decided upon. No matter what the situation a married man can always deflect the blame towards his wife. We inherited this behavior from Adam. “The woman that you gave me, she gave it to me to eat.” If we’re late going somewhere, it’s my wife’s fault. If we overspent our budget, it’s my wife’s fault. If my jeans are too tight, it’s my wife’s fault. I am still upset about the time my team lost the game because she didn’t wash my lucky shirt. I’m not sure how, but the fact that no one comments on this blog must be her fault as well. At the very least she should have known this would happen and warned me!

I feel better already. I’m pretty sure option three is what people are referring to when they say “Take it like a man!” It sounds a lot better than the equivalent “Blame your wife!”

What do you think? Is this something wives do as well? Ladies, does your husband utilize any of these options? Let us know what you think in the comments! (If you’re not still ignoring me.)